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Couples seeking divorce given some breathing space

China Daily Global| Updated: June 9, 2021
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Amicable split

In late March, Li, the Chengdu woman, who is in her 50s, visited Hu to seek advice, even though she had already filed a divorce application and had no problems with her partner concerning child care and property allocation.

"However, she lost her temper at the time, repeatedly saying she had become fed up with a life filled with arguments, but also complaining about her anger with her husband," Hu said.

"She also used bad language when referring to 'the other woman' involved in the case, telling me she wanted her husband to lose his reputation and account for his misconduct."

Recalling Li's irrational and emotional state, Hu, also a mediator and marriage mentor with considerable experience of resolving domestic conflicts in Chengdu, said it was understandable, adding that it is not uncommon to see such behavior among older clients seeking a divorce.

"Many of them, including Li, find it hard or are reluctant to end their marriages and family life, into which they have put decades of effort. They cannot help pouring out their bitterness, and they also experience mood swings when the day finally comes to end their marital relationship," Hu said.

During the cooling-off period, Li asked Hu for help about 10 times. "After getting the divorce certificate, she told me the new policy was necessary, as it gave her the time to address her mood swings and end the marriage in a decent manner, instead of chaotically," Hu said.

She added that domestic disputes are best resolved rationally and peacefully, otherwise they may deepen and even result in incidents such as violence.

"The cooling-off period does not mean stifling marital freedom. The aim is to make couples think twice before divorce, and to prevent irrational or impulsive separations," Hu said.

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